(Me and my landlord Linden during the first two months of my stay in Pisac - cool guy - early 2020)
My time in Pisac
So - the little journey started with a weird secret love affair with a shaman from Mexico named Ivan who - really didn’t care for my stability or happiness though he did - in a weird soul contract kind of way - put me towards the direction.
At the beginning - when I heard the noise about covid it was just the turn of 2020 and I hard from a German friend of mine - that there was going to be - a big…issue - with this disease. That it came from China and that it was - coming for us. And that felt - ok though something stopped me from - judgement. I just felt it.
In the next days I knew I had to leave Mexico as the visa was up and I just had to go somewhere. I just didn’t know where. Because I knew in my heart -
Where I go next
Is SUPER important.
And so I chose Peru or rather - Peru chose me.
( My portrait of Ivan and the cover of my book - Relationships with Earth and Other Beings early 2020)
(The two books I published straight away after Covid began - I was working over time and kind of high on coca cookies. Coca - the plant that cocaine is made of. Everyone in Pisac had it stuffed behind their cheek - always.)
…..
Why the Sacred Valley of Peru
Honestly I was a bit - nervous about going to South America though I knew that is where the medicine would inevitably lead me. The plants promised me - a center. The plants promised me - a home and I knew that it was - solid in that world but this - 3D world - I don’t know. I was always a great skeptic. Even if i saw visions or went into the astral - nope - didn't believe it.
So I didn’t budge but then - just before I booked a retreat in Guatemala for February - calls Ivan - and says - “in another voice” - you must come to be with me in the Valley.
It was a weird thing as I simply didn’t think I was meant to be with the guy. The story was - not great and maybe from my Mexico blog - you see - what happened. It was a bad story.
(Resting at my new home in Pisac - early 2020)
I was having an affair with some Mexican shaman with a wife and kids. And that was to seriously how I saw my future. But in a weird way life snuck me in - to the backstage - with a VIP pass - sitting pretty in a famous ayahuasca ashram - with Ivan - singing songs at his ceremony.
In just a couple of weeks he was gone. But that didn’t matter to me. It didn’t mean anything.
I was still unsure as to why I came. But it did dawn on me.
The plants - the plants wanted me here. And that which happened with him was but - a mistake or but a confusion. A little storm that landed me inevitably into probably - the better place in the world. For the crisis - waiting for it to tide over.
( Man selling medicine at the local market - Pisac early 2020 )
( A view outside of my bedroom window at La Chakana - Pisac)
…..
What did we do in the valley
Well I was alone but not really - people were humble and nice and though everyone was high off their tree at least some of the time people were neat. They kept going with medicine as a kind of - special sacred art. They tried very hard with themselves and their inner progress. It was kind of like - a little India. It had a whole lot more to offer than I can say and it definitely did - turn me into - a better more humble and sophisticated person.
( At the house of Taki and Anne - Taki offered drawing and sculpting classes. I went to both. There was a kirtan gathering just around the corner. Taki standing with a traditional instrument he created. I'm the girl with the long hair)
(Ceramic class with Taki Runa)
(Drawing class with Taki Runa - me and my new best friend Ksenia sharing a couch - also from Russia)
(Me trecking up Pitusirai mountain - felt violently ill when we got to the top - thats why the local people chew on coca all the time. It makes the altitude bearable mid 2020)
Do the mountains win then
We honestly - I did actually buy a piece of land illegally while in the valley and I did kind of - make a contract with my soul to stay there. I did. What for did I do that - well I was not necessarily afraid but pretty burdened and burnt out by my past and I knew that - in a sense a part of me - didn’t feel worthy or loved. And that care and love that I felt between the indigenous - that subtle deep and thorough care. Really - burnt me like the sun. But also - grew on me inevitably and I just kind of got there in my head - somehow.
It has to stay. What I got here stays.
And in a sense yeah - as a medium I felt I was chosen by some secret world inside the community itself as they kind of got to me. The spirits. As there are many of them - and they did live everywhere. As Pisac, Taray and other areas in the Valley were always - ceremonial land and - burial grounds.
So in a way - I just lived at the cemetery during Covid 19 and - loved it.
( Making dumplings with the Russian crew and my partner Jesus - early 2021)
( Our special Russian gathering - with the Borcht and the dumplings and everything.)
What was the little family like
Well I had really a lot of people to choose from. There were many left over people that didn’t know where to go but everything really seemed calm. We had the occasional police raids at parties as people didn’t wear the mask or practice safety in any regard and that did feel right so I did - stick It out there partially because - it felt alright.
Cafes
Kirtans
Little hang outs
Occasional plant ceremonies
Friends or friends to be
Families
And people were quick to bond - it was just that I didn’t kind of…like them sometimes too. Because - well - it was very Americanized. And loud sometimes and that made me feel - same somehow - a quiet deep devotional shame. Like a little old woman sitting on the ground selling her potatoes. A little woman. Maybe there were many such a woman in my genetics. Or there are just those Babushkas in my culture that I could really relate to and feel vulnerable about and yeah
It was that. Just shy - a wall flower in yoga pants - didn’t make sense to the locals nor the foreigners. I definitely lacked a certain Sacred Valley mystique as there definitely is a style of clothes and the “it tribe” made mostly of New Yorkers. And that went deep you know.
(Jesus and me - standing infront of a landscape, looking for a festival venue - early 2021)
(Playing chess against Jesus at Sacred Sushi restaurant - early 2021 - I got incredibly introverted eventually. In the mountains the hair grew very fast.)
(Sacred Sushi restaurant 2021 - that's where the magic happened usually)
Not being - fond of sometimes - being mistaken for one type or class of woman which I was not.
But awkward or not - it was good. It was pretty ok.
I eventually ended up running Russian parties and little ayahuasca get togethers and we did have fun it is just whether or not you like it it was - shallow.
The company the people the get togethers the huachuma - the little man playing the drum. The mental illness. It got to me. So we left.
( hanging out - Pisac hills mid 2020)
Where I still have a land
I did indeed buy a chunk of land - something I didn’t think of doing. I was simply swamped with clients during Covid so I just did that - I invested. And in a sense made a wrong turn but it maybe worked out right in the end. The land is in Chincheros - a little town in the valley - in the mountains and it is a secret hide away - incase the war comes basically.
That was my great little design. It was simply just a hide away spot. And it worked - it grounded me in and helped me imagine that I was gonna actually do it.
But then - it kind of didn’t work for me.
( Jesus and my Ayahuasca co host Dima - playing chess against eachother.)
( We ran Ayahuasca ceremonies at my home in Pisac - they were accompanies by music, and a beautiful meal in the morning. There was quite a cool group at the time. But then - people changed. They did. We left it there )
Going elsewhere
After the ayahuasca ceremonies we went north to the jungle where I just wanted to buy -another piece of land and try to settle but that wasn’t going on. I have a creepy story about that actually cannot share it here but will find the time to write about it. It was kind of a strange dream time for a while but eventually everything worked out.
And I did visit Pisac and it’s many inhabitants.
And what I found was……
(Hanging out with somebody unique and different - mid 2020)
(Pet lama that lived on one of the properties where I stayed - Calca mid 2020)
The mountains make you older.
I was afraid to look at them. Two years after leaving the community I went back again for some things I thought I missed to pick up along the way and I saw - old dried out faces. I didn’t say anything but it was phenomenal for me to see how many people stayed permanently after Covid ended and what they became. Very dry and old - with faces that were starting to age very poorly. And it wasn’t anything I said to them or even to me.
It was just - hard. It was hard.
So the little land is a kind of cage to me now. Do I want to live in the mountains and become an old woman in months or can I stay here - in the jungle where the weather is hot and more humid - and accommodating to cellular growth and just having a good time. I don’t know.
But I’m not vulnerable now - like I was.
(This was my first huachuma cactus sitting on my window cill - shared with friends at Chakana homestead in early 2020. It was not the best. But I was grateful. We went on a hike and - drank a bottle of this. My second ceremony was with Taki Runa where I was - singing. I met Jesus there. (My current partner while writing this) - note - not The Jesus. Just Jesus - it is normal in this part of the world to nae a child Jesus.)
(A little moto - what people use for transportation in the region)
The mountains
They are good as a kind of refuge for the vulnerable. I here found Jesus - my partner who I still am with today (writing this in mid 2024) and yeah he was really lost. In a sense - growing up pretty poor, living in Venezuela most of his life and just making it to Peru - to work. But yes getting lost - and lost - and eventually becoming lost in me and just making it past his past and into the next stage of his life - as a pretty successful human come what may also - without Jesus and his Spanish I wouldn’t be here today.
And yeah - it was hard to find contact as we at first just spoke to each other through google translator but eventually - we made a very close bond. And I knew a lot more about me.
( View out of my bedroom window - early 2020 )
( Two daytura flowers by my bed side early 2020)
(Video from exactly 3 years ago to this day - We made music together - a few days before my partner and I left for Tarapoto)
In truth
Well you know - the mountains make you feel things before it happens and in a sense I felt that I needed to leave but not just leave but to go - gallop, turn and keep on yearning for more travels adventures or just more unique connections with people but we are still - in the North. And I wish I knew how - to grow from here.
Turning events in the world. The drying up of community - the changes in the spiritual world also - and the physical. Digital. AI. Clones. Craziness. I don’t know. I never knew.
I just hope. I just hope.
Love
P
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