(Written for the 2022 Peru Retreats)
What to expect of the Ayahuasca ceremony
So you basically walk into what is called a maloka – a kind of ceremonial tent. Usually these are round and have many beds or mattresses rather. You lay down in a space allocated to you by a shaman usually or you get to choose your own depending on the situation. Sometimes people are divided into female and male participants sometimes not.
Then you just get yourself ready. Some people bring certain objects for ceremonial use like their own instruments, books to scribble their impressions in, sacred objects, crystals, tabacco snuff, and other such things – just to feel at home. Many people prefer to wear white in ceremony to be “closer to spirit” and yes that is right. People say that in the dark (as the ceremony is held in total darkness) white is worn to be able to be seen by others. No – it is a spiritual meaning. And yes it does work energetically and psychologically as white is obviously the colour of purity.
Simple Ayahuasca ready kit:
- White clothes
- Items and accessories you want to bring along
- Tobacco if you need
- A musical instrument if you are proficient in music (important to be proficient)
- Extra toilet paper (tears, mucus)
- A water bottle
- A torch
How to hold yourself. So basically you just sit down and you wait. Do not talk. I repeat – do not talk or make friends. Please. Just sit and wait. Sometimes it takes a couple of hours for the shaman to distribute the brew. Sometimes not. Just depends on the time and the moment. You just wait. Sit down or lay down, make yourself comfortable. There should already be a pillow and a blanket ready for you there. Enjoy peace and silence. You will be given a bucket for purging. (throwing up)
Then you get called to drink. Some people in the western world / modern ayahuaskeros as they call them – like to say a lot of words and introduce themselves and the process. This – to me also – is not really necessary. This is why I’m writing this out for you in this particular piece of information – because it’s better to know before hand. Let the shaman do his thing. Our shaman here doesn’t speak any English at all. Just let him distribute the brew. He might call you by the name or usher you so that you come up and take the cup. Now the cup is usually taken with both hands, people sometimes take it to their heart and then head before drinking as a kind of motion of grace and then drink. It is good to say thank you.
If the Ayahuasca is bitter, take a sip of water and swivel it in your mouth – spitting it out in the bucket. If you have to purge suddenly don’t hold it in. That happens sometimes too.
Then you wait – here you wait for about 40 minutes before everyone feels steady for the ceremony. Not to be afraid nobody is looking at you – here we have total darkness – some people perform ceremonies in the day light though that – I believe – disconnects that DMT process for some – as not everyone can reach that place with the photons from the sun. Only some people. In the night it is more likely that your third eye might be activated. Also – if you have a lot of information or energy holding on you – try to take big deep breaths and don’t think about anything in particular, let it wash over you like waves.
When the shaman starts singing you know it’s time to listen or to adhere. He might give energetic direction to you or energy will come rushing in – you might see or feel things which is very normal – don’t be afraid. If anyone is processing next to you or is purging next to you – PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE THEM – that is the biggest mistake we can make in ceremony is judgement. Let it go and understand what you yourself are going through.
Now the best thing is to relax. If you are not breathing you might get constricted energetically or emotionally – you might feel faint. Giving up and laying down is – not ok in most cultures but sometimes people – only can process like that. If they are faint of heart or if people are weak in spirit often – they won’t sit through the ceremony – they can’t sit – they must lay down. If you are one of those people (as was I for too long) you might have something really caught up in your system or you might feel faint because you have a nervous system issue or disease. That is not a bad thing again though – try not to lay down.
Laying down can make you feel dizzy or make things worse. If you lay down through most of the ceremony you might not create any bigger or better plans or you might feel stagnant afterwards – also people that do feel like they have to lay down usually don’t experience the best events or energies after though – it does increase the high. Some people really have to surrender to medicine because of abuse or past traumas or other things – which is allowed – but only if you really feel that need to surrender. Normally a good participant responds with respect to the shaman by sitting up the whole night. And yes sometimes if you really can’t sit – you stand stretch your legs maybe if you really need to or just lay down a moment and sit again.
The process is slow – here you have a lot of dreams maybe – if the shaman pulls you over you have to go and see what they say do or sing to you. Don’t be afraid it is usually done in the best of intentions. And then you can go back to your seat.
If you don’t have to – do not drink twice. Repeating this again – you don’t need this twice. Even if you think you are not feeling that much. It’s better to stop than to drink again. Even if you think you can “handle it” – unless you are fighting a disease – do not drink again. Though some people drink even 4 times a night. You need to be careful with this and know your dose. If you haven’t done psychedelics before or you don’t really want to feel that feeling even ask for the first dose to be minimal. As we don’t want that feeling to come and not know which way to go.
If you can take yourself to the bathroom if you have to go – don’t wait. Purging happens in ayahuasca and sometimes on the one end – but most people purge via vomit. Some people would do best if they take the bucket with them incase they have to go to the bathroom as well as purging does happen on both ends. Just a warning. And yes it is totally ok and culturally appropriate to just – throw up in the middle of a song or whatever. Because you can’t hold it and you shouldn’t actually.
What for do we purge. We don’t have to force this. People in certain cultures believe that purging is a must and one must throw up – but I don’t believe that. If you can hold the Ayahuasca and not spill a drop – that is very rare. This means you really had to have it. If you don’t purge at all you don’t have to but – you understand – this is a venomous plant and yes it can cause damage or even decay in your system. But if you are very clean (as I am also) and you say – never touch beer or wine, or you never speak badly or give bad energy out to the world (which is rare) it cannot hurt. But it can leave one in pieces if you never purge – and yet you don’t know which way you are going. So for the meek in heart very clean and cleansed person – it can still cause harm and can even destroy parts of your system so – It means something to purge, and sometimes it’s better if you do.
If you are stuck and you cannot purge, It’s better to. So – give it a try. Big bottle of water next time – and make sure also that you eat something afterwards. Try a few pieces of fruit at least or something beautiful to help yourself and to associate to your body again. If you don’t purge – especially – eat something afterwards even if people are falling asleep.
If you sing. Or play guitar or something – very good. But you have to wait in a sense for that moment or for an invitation. Usually the first 4 or so songs are only the shaman singing you into the dream. Try not to speak or talk – even in your head. Make space and give blessings. It’s a very important part of the journey.
When you talk or you energetically scream it is very obvious as the whole group might hear or feel your vibration. The worst vibes are usually at the start of the ceremony and can be very blunt and obvious – even very angering as to what people are starting to say or how. Please be aware that people become transparent and obvious in the first part and yes – those angry thoughts or bad stories start to show.
Ayahuasca though likes that – so anything you anger about or frustrate over in the first part of the journey she uses to climb herself over you – meaning she uses your triggers and ego points to escape one state and go into the other – from death she goes into animation in a way and yes – the plant can use you or even anchor you however she likes or feels fit as yes – she is a spirit. And some people might say – a very talkative one.
Now not to have hatred or worry in the start even if you believe the plant is doing nothing for you and you may as well sleep – because it’s not just disrespectful. It is dangerous. All the words and feelings she will repeat for you or rub your nose in later – and yes the shaman knows everything – usually would. So you have to be careful and not display your energy in the first part of the ceremony as it hurts everyone later. Try to be wise here. And no more than that. Breathe, participate, feel, hear. Sigh if you want. Drink. Imagine.
Then as we go towards the middle you know there is a softening – the songs get better or it is just brighter somehow – maybe people start vomiting just about here and many people release – it gets to the euphoric stage and people start to shine or – everyone shines and the rare person (it happens) goes into psychosis. Now the psychosis is not something that is very rare it does happen. Especially for the person who has been holding on their whole dear life. So – the person with a lot of sins or just a lot of hurt inside might break. Now we know why we judge yes – like – wow look at that. But be careful. Things – can slip. And yes – even you thinking you are so wise and tall can even – ingest or somehow inherit that psychic gift…or that strength – or yes that psychosis another person has got. Because –
In the kettle that is the ayahuasca kingdom – even if it is just for one day – we are all family and yes we can chop and change energies and frequencies and some of it can hurt us . That means you have to be utter most respectful to anyone or anything happening – and if you cannot be and you know you don’t want to be there – you can go.
Now the thing is to not be showy about this. As there is nowhere to go – it’s important that you maybe sit just outside of the temple space if you feel very uncomfortable or you just go near by – do not run away. I repeat – do not run away. Maybe there will be a minder that can take you just to the kitchen or just to sit down somewhere safe. You don’t even have to be there though there should be really – rooms or spaces one can be without wishing badly on others or feeling disturbed.
The best thing is not to worry though. Even if something weird is happening – the main thing is to hold tight and be alright as you – if you have a belief or just a grandparent or a part of your life you enjoy or enjoyed – good to talk of that or think of it in your mind. If you really love or loved someone or if you really needed something to happen that hasn’t yet happened – try to walk this one out with joy and maybe – just maybe – you will even get a big wish come true or a big truth surface at least. It is all that. It is all there. It’s just very important to be humble and not overclaim anything as Ayahuasca can give but also can leave you breathless or feeling like you are totally alone in the world. This happens to me.
So what to do later is to – achieve or require new logic – try to go up not down. After the ceremony also – enrich your world and go directly towards colour and towards joy. You see Shipibo is a colourful culture – try to go there – try to go to the next brink of joy and happiness so you don’t by any chance loose your coordinates.
When a space clears and you know it is safe you might even be asked to perform a song. Usually the person next to the shaman might naturally start singing or another person might join in – it’s very holy and sacred to be able to make music or sing in the culture(s) associated with plant medicines of South and Middle Americas. So don’t be afraid if you are also suddenly – totally inspired to show off a bit. Not bad to show. But please be careful.
In the choice of song – and in the way you do it. So say – you are singing a pop song from your country in the middle of a holy moment – try not to put those words there. Try to make space. You can maybe hum it rather than using those words. Maybe you have a negative emotion but you are singing a big Christian hymn – do not try to prove anything to anyone – egos really start to spark off by the end of the ceremony and we usually see them fly very easily as a collective. If we hate something or have a hard feeling accepting things it is hard for us all. So if the song is spicy sometimes or there is an irony in it – we close off and that can sometimes shut you off – but we do have freedom of speech don’t we.
Kind of
So – in Ayahuasca land it is good to be loving and caring and not freak out. It’s very important not to feel overly hopeful too but yeah – people talk. It’s scary sometimes. People get afraid of people that have too much ego or energy in their songs or they have too much power – or they are in psychosis for half a day after. So what do we do – and what can we do – if that was or can be ever – us.
The main reason this happens is that things were there for a long time. There is a volcano that awakens in some people and they become overly intense or just over the top – now the better thing is not to talk about it – period. But if you can’t help but talk of others – that is another face of Ayahuasca. Mistrust and hurt is part of it and many people that like it sometimes get very psychic but also very knowsy or gossipy – so let other people talk – but don’t do it yourself.
By the end of it all most of us just fall to sleep – but some stay up – nothing wrong with chatting to a friend but just try not to do this too eagerly because not everyone is needing to hear what you have to say or – not everyone is stable sound or ready to speak. Make spaces and make sure that if you are in a couple – even though your energy might be very emotional, angry, hurt or spirited – go to your own beds and make space between you
Because it is hard for people to truly connect and contain in a reasonable way sometimes after the ceremony space – and that means privacy is the only way for some. Sleep it off, don’t talk – big breakfast – go to bed again if you want. If you want you can take all day in the near days – talking of it – but not right now.
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